Even five years after I became a widow I can remember the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and fear I had when I joined this group. You aren’t supposed to lose a spouse when you’re young, when you have a baby, when you’re supposed to have 40 more years together. So, when you do? You’re pretty much scared out of your mind.
When someone tells you they understand? When someone tells you you aren’t a complete nutjob because your mind alternates between running like a scared rabbit and feeling like it’s completely stopped? When someone doesn’t ask how they can help, but finds ways to help without asking? Then that person is the most helpful person in your world at that moment.
So, even though it’s been five years since Mark died, I still talk about how it feels to be a widow. I still talk about fears and pain and hope for a widow. I still talk about joining this group of people because it may help someone not feel like a nutjob. And what’s better than that?