I’m Fat. But That’s Changing.

I don’t like to talk about weight. As my very smart friend said, it’s like the elephant in the room. It’s not like I don’t know I’m fat, because I do. But I also know my husband thinks I’m hot, I’ve got a good smile that I use all the time, and I have a good shape. I’m not a healthy fat person. I know curvy women who are fit, but I’m not one of them. I want to be.

It’s difficult to talk about wanting to get healthy without talking numbers. I hate looking at numbers on a scale. Unfortunately, the easiest way to track progress on the fitness front is by counting pounds lost. So, I’ll be counting pounds lost (inches lost too).

I’ve been in the 200s on the scale for 18 years. Which means that I have been overweight for half my life. I haven’t run since I was 18. Before that, I was healthy and in good shape. I was always a fit kid, never overweight (despite what I thought as a teenager). I played sports in school and my body did whatever I needed it to do. Then I went to college and started eating my feelings and stopped exercising.

As much as I hate looking at the scale, it’s the number I saw this summer that convinced me to take this body and my health seriously. I hit 300 pounds in August. This was a holy-shit moment for me.

My goal weight (because progress is easy to track with numbers) is 180ish (I’m 5’8″). I’m tired of being tired, out of breath, walking slowly, not being able to get on the floor and play with my kids. I’m tired of using belt extenders when I fly and of none of my clothes fitting. I’m tired of not wearing shorts in the summer. I’m tired of being tired.

I’m starting a program at work that is supposed to jump start this whole healthy-living/weight loss thing. I hope you’ll join me here to urge me on and maybe yell at me every now and then if I need it. I’ll check in with you all each week. I don’t want this blog to turn in to a place where all I talk about is my weight, but I know a lot of you struggle to get healthy and we can all use the encouragement. I’ll talk with you all about what I’m doing both food-wise and exercise-wise and I would love to hear your tips and thoughts.

Here’s where I am now.


So…are you in?