What’s In A Name?

He wanted to know when he would be a "Smith." That's how the conversation started, with Nicholas asking when he was going to be a "Smith" like the rest of us. William and I started having conversations about him adopting Nicholas before we even got married. We went back and forth mostly because we were under the false impression that N would lose his survivor's benefits from Social Security if … [Read more...]

My Charmed Life

Like many women in Texas, I love me some  James Avery. When I was 11 I got my first piece of James Avery jewelry, a silver "dangle" ring with a hot-air balloon charm. I also got a dangle ring with a dinosaur (I think it was a Kentosaurus) because I thought it was cool, not because I had any real fascination with dinosaurs. The rings were gifts from my father, two of the three gifts that I can … [Read more...]

Widow Wednesday: The Hands

There was a spot of dirt under the middle fingernail of Mark's right hand when he was in the hospital the second time. Every day we put lotion on his hands and Carmex on his lips and aftershave on his cheeks as he lay unresponsive. But I couldn't get that speck of dirt out from under his fingernail, and I didn't want to try too hard. His body was becoming so fragile I was afraid I'd cut him or … [Read more...]

Widow Wednesday: I Don’t Know How

When people ask, I don't know what to say. Because I don't really know what happened to cause Mark's death. The physicians had theories but could never say for sure. It would be easier to be able to say "cancer" or "heart attack" but I can't. Well, I could, but that would be a lie. Instead, I sort of stumble around. I could say he starved to death because he literally did (I never say this because … [Read more...]